


True Self

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: Agender Character, Demisexuality, Gen, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 12:05:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12108342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	True Self

Spencer and Y/N had only started dating about two months earlier, but at the start of their relationship she’d been much more bubbly and full of life, and for the past two weeks or so, she’d been quiet and withdrawn. Something was wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Y/N?” He questioned as he sat across the table from her in their favorite coffee shop. “Can I ask what’s wrong? You’ve been very quiet lately. I just want to make sure everything’s okay.”

Y/N looked up from her book, closing the pages over the bookmark and giving him a small smile. “I’m okay, Spence,” she said. “I’m just tired.”

“It’s been weeks,” he said insistently. “You know you can talk to me, right? About anything? I never want you to feel like you can’t come to me.”

She smiled softly, placing her book back in her bag before glancing his way again. He meant so well, but that didn’t make the shakiness in her voice subside at all. “If I tell you, will you promise not to say anything to anyone? It’s not something I’m truly comfortable with yet…I…I always got made fun of for it. Though at the time I didn’t know what it was…”

She trailed off, her voice tugging at his heartstrings as he watched her eyes glaze over in sad memories. After their first few dates, which basically consisted of talking over cups of coffee much like they were doing now, he knew that she’d been made fun of a lot as a kid; it’s actually what got them talking in the first place. “Of course, Y/N,” he replied. “What is it?”

“Well,” she started. “It’s about me. My sexuality, my gender. I was always made fun us a kid for never dressing in ‘boy’ clothes or ‘girl’ clothes. Everything I wore didn’t fall into a defined set of expectations. And my parents, although really supportive of me, never really knew how to describe me to people.” Spencer kind of knew where she was going with this train of thought, and although he couldn’t empathize, he could sympathize. “A few years ago, before we started dating, I was reading up on terms regarding sexuality and gender and I came across two that really resonated with me.”

Y/N had been speaking in quiet and clipped tones. Although she was becoming more comfortable in her own skin regarding her sexuality and gender, she still wasn’t totally comfortable with everyone else knowing. “Anyway, demisexual was one of those words. The way it was described was just…it was me to a tee. Any romances I had started in friendships. I would go into friendships with no agenda at all and I’d end up developing a serious attraction to them. I just can’t find someone attractive enough to sleep with until I’ve really gotten to know them.”

Spencer felt like there was still more to the conversation, but from the way she’d spoken about her previous relationships, he’d guessed that she identified as demisexual. “It doesn’t matter the labels you put on yourself as long as you’re happy, Y/N,” he replied. “Society tells people from the time they’re born that sexual attraction is just something that’s innately felt, and while it can be, it doesn’t have to be, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Thank you,” she said, extending her hand toward his. 

A silence hung between them for a moment, the rest of the world passing by as if nothing else mattered. “You said there were two terms. What’s the other one?”

“Agender,” she said. She could see by the look in his eyes that that particular term took him by a little more surprise than demisexual. “Like I don’t feel uncomfortable in my body or anything, not like transgender, but of course you know the difference, why am I rambling, I’m rambling aren’t I?”

Spencer laughed and patted her hand. “Yes, but it’s okay. You’re nervous. Keep going.”

“I just don’t connect to either of the presumed normal genders. I don’t feel like a girl. I don’t feel like a boy. I just feel like me. When I was a kid, I mentioned to classmates that I felt that way; they all told me I had to be one or the other. I told them I didn’t want to, so I’d be neither, and then a couple years ago I found out there’s actually a word for that.”

“Again,” Spencer said. “Are you happy? Are you happy with me? You still want to pursue this relationship?”

She nodded her head, the tears that had glazed over her eyes falling steadily down her cheeks as the proverbial weight was lifted up off her shoulders. “Yes, yes and yes.”

“Your happiness is what matters to me. Not whatever label you feel comfortable with.”

Y/N got up from her chair, pulled it closer to Spencer and sat back down, embracing him in an enormous hug. “Whenever I do decide I’m comfortable with coming out, do you mind using they instead of him or her?”

Spencer leaned in and pressed his lips to theirs. “Whatever you want, love. Do you feel better?”

They nodded their head and leaned into Spencer’s shoulder. “Yea, I do. I was afraid of what you’d think. You think in facts, so I was afraid you’d be one of those people that conform to one or the other, you know?”

That was always an assumption of scientific minds. “Yea, I have a science-oriented brain, and science changes over time. What I do know is that when it comes to people, nothing is cookie cutter. As long as you’re comfortable with you, I’m good.” He squeezed their hand and pressed another kiss to their forehead.

“Thank you, Spence,” they replied softly, their voice barely audible through the fabric of his shirt. “It feels nice to finally be my true self with someone.”

“And now that you are, you’ll always have someone that understands.”


End file.
